Hair & Marriage

How many women and men (man buns) grow your hair out? You long for these long luscious locks and you work so hard for them. Growing hair is hard – you must really take care of it. It is easy to just chop it off. Anyone can rock any kind of hair style with the right level of confidence. But long hair takes work. It takes years to grow out your hair. It takes lots of money and care to have long healthy hair. Now this long beautiful hair can get on our nerves sometimes. It gets all in our face, it takes too long to dry, it is too curly, it is too fine, I can’t style it, blah blah blah. Some days it is easier to just put it in a bun or a pony tail. There is nothing wrong with that. It is a style. One that you are comfortable with. You and your hair have come to an agreement like hey you’re getting on my nerves today, I’m putting you in a pony tail. And your hair is like alright cool I’m not sure why I’m all over the place today, we can work on this again tomorrow. 

So, people are going to wonder what the relationship between hair and marriage is. Here are some similarities:

Hair – Needs continued maintenance (Trimming)

Marriage – Needs continued maintenance

Hair – Needs to be put in its place once in a while (pony tail, bun) (Communication)

Marriage (spouse) – needs to be put in their place occasionally, (by good communication and discussion)

Hair – Needs to be washed and cared for so it doesn’t become soiled. (Cleansing)

Marriage – Needs to be cleansed with the word of God so it can still be beautiful.

Here are the similarities of how we choose not to take care of our hair or our marriage…

Hair – Ugh my hair is all in my face I’m going to cut it off.

Marriage – ugh my husband/wife is just a burden and so annoying, it is time to cut the cord.

Hair – I don’t like my hair color – so let’s change it.

Marriage – I don’t like my spouse anymore, so I need someone new. 

Hair – I don’t feel like taking care of my hair – so I’m just going to let it do whatever.

Marriage – I don’t feel connected to my spouse anymore and it is too much of hassle to try to fix it. So, I’m going to do what I want.

Hair and Marriage – never knew they could be compared. So, let’s say you give in and cut your hair off…. I have done this and instantly regretted it. Like cried immediately after. You can’t get it back. It is cut off…it is gone, permanently – you cannot pick it up and put it back on. You thought that change would fulfill you and make you feel better. But it made you feel worse. You loved your long hair, but you decided out of haste and off feelings.

Just like hair – marriage takes work. It takes maintenance, communication, cleansing.

Maintenance –trimming to keep healthy and not let the ends die. (When the ends split and are dead – it will keep moving up through the hair to the root)

Communication – work on your problems – talk it out – let each other know your concerns. Some days someone just needs to be in a pony tail. Time to chill out and regroup but still partners.

Cleansing – Hair needs to be washed at least every couple of days or else it gets soiled and looks greasy and gross. Marriage needs spiritual cleansing. If you go for extended periods of time without spiritual cleansing – your marriage will start to soil.

We are so quick to just cut the cord on our marriages and relationships. We forget how hard we worked on our relationships. How much we have been through, the awkward phase (back of the neck), the starting over phase because we let too much die and didn’t give it the maintenance it needed, and compromise with different styles and pony tails. And we really forget the love we have for our long luscious locks and our marriages and relationships.

We need to be reminded to the time and effort we put into our relationships and marriages. It is not worth it to destroy it out of haste. Even if your marriage is a little out of whack – you just need a little bit of communication, cleansing and maintenance to get back to a healthy relationship/marriage. Don’t give up – there is too much effort to let it go so easily. 


Maintenance – Ephesians 4: 31-32: Never be bitter, angry, or mad. Never shout angrily or say things to hurt others. Never do anything evil. Be kind and loving to each other. Forgive each other the same as God forgave you through Christ.

Cleansing – Philippians 4: 8-9 – Brothers & sisters, continue to think about what is good and worthy of praise. Think about what is true and honorable and right and pure and beautiful and respected. And do what you learned and received from me – what I told you and what you saw me do. And the God who gives peace will be with you.

Communication & Compromise – Ephesians 4:2 – Always be humble and gentle. Be patient and accept each other with love.